Why do I do this? Well, I only follow people who interest me or may potentially interest me and therefore I’m interested in what they share.
Hey! It might not be your madness but that’s how I scroll, lmao! Yeah, I said scroll!
Anywho, my point is, as I scrolled down through my timeline there was a conversation (if we can even call it that) which caught my attention.
The person who replied to the comment seemed to feel that it was offensive, the person who the comment was directed to seemed oblivious but opted to chime in anyway and therein began a barrage of personal attacks on a person that likely didn’t mean much by the simple comment that they made.
Why do I give a shit? *taps a finger to her lip and thinks* Well, for starters, the person seems nice enough and going back in my timeline didn’t seem to mean any offense by what was said. Then the person apologized for what was said, attempting to make amends publicly for the “misunderstanding”.
The sad thing is that nothing would save this person.
The tirade of judgements on the persons character went on and on to the point that I sorta walked away in disgust.The person who made the comment appears to be relatively new to the lifestyle (kink/ D/s / scene, or whatever else you might call it). Perhaps this was what was so upsetting to me.
I have been in the “lifestyle” for over five years and in my current relationship with my Master for just over a year.
In this time, I have met so many people, many who have enriched my life for the better and some… not so much.
That being said, those who have enriched my life have done so by being willing and sometimes unintended teachers.
I have learned from what they bring to this lifestyle; they’re knowledge, the respect they hold for themselves and others. I am constantly amazed by the insane dynamics in the people I encounter.
Being in this lifestyle is an endless cycle of learning… the process is never ending. Just when you think you have learned all you can learn, someone comes along and teaches you something new. It is amazing!
I have learned to respect everyone’s journey, no matter how far off of my path it may be, because the end goal is to be the best sub/slave/ Dom/ Domme or whatever individual YOU can be. Our paths are not the same, but the goal is… for true lifestylers to continue to grow and learn and share.
The experience that I witnessed yesterday was sad because… you have a person who comes in an openly says that they want to learn, they are new… green as some call it.
Wouldn’t it be natural that this person will make mistakes, walk off the”path” a bit? So… why not call them on behaviors in private? Why belittle them publicly and then continue to do so? Does that make you feel better? Does that make you the all-knowing, the utmost in BDSM knowledge and etiquette?
I have more respect for a Dominant who would pull you to the side and ask what the rationale of your words were than one who tears you apart in public for their own benefit.
I may lose followers because of this, but I don’t care.
This post is meant to make Y/you think. Is it you? Have you ever done this?
Maybe you are not in the lifestyle but have still belittled someone in your timeline for something that may have been a misunderstanding and I want you to think about why.
I want you to really evaluate your actions. Was it to make yourself feel better about your own short comings or were you genuinely trying to help? In retrospect, do you think you helped, or did you push the person into a shell?
The person who was being attacked… if You are reading, You know who You are… not all of us are like that. There are those of us who would rather share what we have learned with You, rather than to shame You for Your actions.
Don’t apologize for Your actions if there was no harm intended in them. Instead, apologize for the misunderstanding that was caused and if that is not enough, well fuck em. Yeah, I said it, fuck em, block em, ignore em, whatever.
That being said… I am at work and need to get back to it but have been wanting to get this off of my chest since yesterday so there it is… If you don’t have anything nice to say… STFU!